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post #556 of 669 (permalink) Old 02-11-2019, 11:21 PM
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Originally Posted by MetalMonkey View Post
Who knew an engineer could be so funny ?
The printer ink price is hilariously true. It's cheaper to buy a new printer with ink, than it is to just buy ink sometimes. Especially if you need black, and colors. Hell, a new printer even comes with photo cartridge.

I mean, they might not have as much, but you get all of them for less than it is to replace all of them.

My printer gets used a few times a year. Primarily tax season. Have to print two copies. After that the ink dries, around July or August it is unusable and says to replace ink...


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I put the Laughter in Slaughter, and the Fun in funeral.
KTM 450xc QUAD, Baldwin head, Ti valves, 8/06 cam, motoworks, goldspeed tires...
Gone/not forgotten: 2010 CM RW that was sweet,
NOW: 2017 Platinum. Tinted, trd duals, Exo Grapplers. Led h-lights and interior, Hard hat tonneau, line-x, Rancho uca/level'd
I like weapons. I dont capitalize, use spell check, or punctuate properly...
and you can call me Power.
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post #557 of 669 (permalink) Old 02-13-2019, 11:42 PM
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post #558 of 669 (permalink) Old 02-14-2019, 04:06 PM
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A picture is worth a thousand words
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post #559 of 669 (permalink) Old 02-16-2019, 03:40 PM
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Every week, Manny entered the state lottery hoping to win. He never did. Finally, he prayed vigorously, and hoping for God's message, he walked around the local fairground. A flash of lightning struck as he was passing by Nadine's carnival stall. She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties. He could see the number 7 tattooed on each of her butt cheeks. He bet on 77, as he thought God had given him a sign. He lost again. Sad! The winning number was 707.

Moral of the story:


Never underestimate the importance of assholes in your life.



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post #560 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-16-2019, 09:23 PM
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One advantage of being a loner: I don't have enough friends for there to ever be an intervention for me.

2014 SR RCLB Magnetic Gray
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post #561 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-18-2019, 08:39 AM
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post #562 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-23-2019, 06:07 PM
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Woah, Iím tripping



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post #563 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 09:51 AM
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post #564 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 03:13 PM
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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in all the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around his desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?”

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesday ......but I fish on Fridays."


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post #565 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-27-2019, 11:34 AM
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post #566 of 669 (permalink) Old 04-27-2019, 04:51 PM
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$35 for 2 tickets to see Avengers Endgame in IMAX 3D? WTF? SMH


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post #567 of 669 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 07:13 PM
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If a lily pad grows and doubles in size every day it can cover a small pond in 48 days.

How long did it take for the lily pad to cover 1/2 the pond?

How long did it take to answer this question?


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post #568 of 669 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 07:19 PM
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If a bat and a ball costs no more than $1.10 together, how much does the ball cost if the bat is $1 more than the ball?

Easy question, easy answer.


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post #569 of 669 (permalink) Old 05-01-2019, 08:02 PM
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If a man drank a quart of buttermilk before he started,
and ran a mile before he farted,
and the faster he runs the faster he gets,
how far will he run before he $hits ?


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post #570 of 669 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 09:13 AM
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No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: 'How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Here is his astute answer:

"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!

Cheers


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