Friday joke part 2!!

[Bankstitan]

Well, today being my B-day i was in a good mood!!


One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring hard at her.

When she asked him why, he said, “I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She said, “You can’t offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything.”

The cab driver then said, “Well, I’ve always had the fantasy of having a nun give me a blow job.”

She said, “Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. First, you have to be single, and second you have to be Catholic.”

Immediately the cab driver said, “Oh, yes! I’m single and I’m Catholic!”

The nun said, “Okay, pull into that alleyway over there.”

The cab driver pulled into the alleyway and the nun went to it. Soon after the nun was finished, the cab driver started crying.

The nun said, “My child, what’s the matter?”

He said tearfully, “Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied…I’m married and I’m Jewish!”

The nun replied, “That’s okay. My name’s Jeff and I’m on my way to a costume party!”

[2008_CrewMax]

hahahah too funny again

and happy bday!

[Familymanof5]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Nice
FM5

[SybErkRimInAL]

Lolololololololooo

[Bankstitan]

Originally Posted by 2008_CrewMax

hahahah too funny again

and happy bday!

Thanks...im def getting older, just not sure when the wisdom is going to kick in

[Rollin Thunder]

life in the big city........ouch !

[SybErkRimInAL]

Originally Posted by Bankstitan

Thanks...im def getting older, just not sure when the wisdom is going to kick in

It obviously hasn't yet since you haven't traded in that Titan for a Tundra. j/k man, happy bday.

[Tundrawwjd]

Happy Bday

[Codiac]

A deep-sea diver is twenty feet below sea level when he sees another guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another thirty feet, and the guy with no equipment stays with him. He takes out a waterproof chalkboard and writes, "How the hell can you stay down this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the chalkboard and writes, "You asshole, I’m drowning."

[Codiac]

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you’re thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I’ve got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that’s sucking on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking!"

[2008_CrewMax]

Originally Posted by Codiac

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you’re thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I’ve got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that’s sucking on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking!"

haha funny

i like this better than the first 1 you posted

[Codiac]

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

She couldn’t say anything...she was choking

[2008_CrewMax]

Originally Posted by Codiac

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

She couldn’t say anything...she was choking

haha took me .2 seconds for that one

[ramoine]

Happy B-day .

Funny jokes , thanks for sharing them .

[07TexasTundra]

Ok my turn.

Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little MARK replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old..'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little MARK answered, 'No, he minded his own fu**ing business.




There was a plane flying across the ocean when it got caught up in a really bad storm. The plane crashed about 2 miles away from a deserted island. The only people to make it was a 30 year old Redneck, and a really hot famous Supermodel. They sat on the island together for about a week when they figured that they might be there for a while. The two finally caught interest in each other since nobody else was around. After about 3 or 4 days of erotic sex the man said "Can I ask you for a really big favor?" The Supermodel Replied "well, I guess so" He said "would you put on my clothes?" sorta confused she said..."well i guess it wouldn't hurt anything." so she put them on. He said "great, and can you draw a mustache on your face with this piece of coal I found?" She replied with "just wait a minute......" PLEEASSE! she said "ok...ok" He said "Wonderful...And Can I call you Fred?? She said "I guess so" He said---" Fred...you will never guess who I've been banging!!"






A wife asks her husband, "Would you re-marry if I die?"

The husband says, "Well, I guess I probably would. I'm relatively young and I figure I'd need to 'keep on living'"

The wife then asks, "Would you both live in my house?"

The husband replies, "Yeah I think we would. The house is paid off, it's near work...I don't see why not."

The wife continues, "Would she drive my car?"

The husbands answers, "I'd say 'yes'. It's pretty new...no reason to take a loss on the trade-in."

The wife follows with, "Would she use my golf clubs?"

The husband responds, "Well, no...she's left-handed."