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Ok my turn.
Little MARK was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'
Little MARK replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old..'
The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
Little MARK answered, 'No, he minded his own fu**ing business.
There was a plane flying across the ocean when it got caught up in a really bad storm. The plane crashed about 2 miles away from a deserted island. The only people to make it was a 30 year old Redneck, and a really hot famous Supermodel. They sat on the island together for about a week when they figured that they might be there for a while. The two finally caught interest in each other since nobody else was around. After about 3 or 4 days of erotic sex the man said "Can I ask you for a really big favor?" The Supermodel Replied "well, I guess so" He said "would you put on my clothes?" sorta confused she said..."well i guess it wouldn't hurt anything." so she put them on. He said "great, and can you draw a mustache on your face with this piece of coal I found?" She replied with "just wait a minute......" PLEEASSE! she said "ok...ok" He said "Wonderful...And Can I call you Fred?? She said "I guess so" He said---" Fred...you will never guess who I've been banging!!"
A wife asks her husband, "Would you re-marry if I die?"
The husband says, "Well, I guess I probably would. I'm relatively young and I figure I'd need to 'keep on living'"
The wife then asks, "Would you both live in my house?"
The husband replies, "Yeah I think we would. The house is paid off, it's near work...I don't see why not."
The wife continues, "Would she drive my car?"
The husbands answers, "I'd say 'yes'. It's pretty new...no reason to take a loss on the trade-in."
The wife follows with, "Would she use my golf clubs?"
The husband responds, "Well, no...she's left-handed."
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